It Takes a Village to Raise a Child: Discover Remarkable Value

Table of Contents

The Origin of “It Takes a Village to Raise a Child”
Why Every Family Needs a Village
The Essential Building Blocks of Your Village: Key People Who Help Raise Your Child
Start Early: Build Your Village Before You Have Kids
The Financial Benefits of Embracing the Village Concept
Taking on the Village Mindset: Relinquishing Some Control
- Worry Less, Set Basic Expectations
  - Our Personal Rules for Caregivers:
How Socialization in the Village Shapes Your Child’s Future
Rebuilding the Village in a Digital World
The Village as a Lifeline for Parental Mental Health
FAQ: It Takes a Village to Raise a Child Common Questions

Raising a child is one of life’s greatest joys, but it can also be overwhelming—especially for families balancing work, finances, and the growing demands of a household. The phrase “it takes a village to raise a child” has never been more relevant. This timeless African proverb speaks to the importance of community support when raising children. For growing families, building a “village” around you not only lightens the emotional load but also provides tangible financial and logistical benefits, particularly when it comes to childcare.

In this article, we’ll explore the origins of the proverb, why building your village early can save you both time and money, and how embracing the village mindset can help ease some of the pressures parents face today.

The Origin of “It Takes a Village to Raise a Child”

The proverb “it takes a village to raise a child” finds its roots in African culture, particularly in the Igbo and Yoruba people of Nigeria, but it exists in various forms across the African continent. This powerful phrase embodies the idea that raising a child is not solely the responsibility of the parents but a collective effort by the entire community.

The African Cultural Context

In traditional African societies, child-rearing has always been viewed as a communal responsibility. Immediate and extended family members—grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins—as well as neighbors and friends, all play essential roles in nurturing, teaching, and guiding children. It’s not uncommon for children in African communities to live with their grandparents, aunts, or uncles for extended periods. This shared responsibility ensures that children are exposed to diverse perspectives, cultural values, and life skills.

The African proverb underscores the African worldview that places great value on family relationships, cooperation, selflessness, and hospitality. Children are seen as blessings not just to their parents, but to the entire community. The concept of communal child-rearing is also reflected in proverbs from other African cultures. For instance, the Sukuma people of Tanzania say “One knee does not bring up a child,” and the Swahili people from East and Central Africa use the saying “One hand does not nurse a child.” Both proverbs emphasize the same communal responsibility in child-rearing, highlighting the importance of many hands and hearts in the upbringing of a child.

Global Adoption of the Proverb

The phrase “it takes a village to raise a child” gained broader global recognition in the late 20th century, particularly in Western culture, when former U.S. First Lady Hillary Clinton published her 1996 book titled “It Takes a Village: And Other Lessons Children Teach Us.” Clinton used the phrase to advocate for a collective approach to nurturing children, emphasizing the importance of communities, schools, and social institutions in a child’s development. The book ignited a conversation around family values, social responsibility, and the role of government in supporting parents and children.

Interestingly, around the same time, the Nigerian proverb was also used in other significant works. In 1996, Maryknoll Father Don Sybertz and Joseph Healey published “Towards An African Narrative Theology,” a book that explores African proverbs and their theological implications, using “it takes a village to raise a child” to reflect on themes of community, unity, and cooperation.

The proverb has since been referenced by various public figures and institutions to highlight the importance of collective responsibility. For instance, Anglican Archbishop John Sentamu of York, England, used the proverb at a 2005 global consultation to advocate for collective action in eradicating poverty, stating: “As it takes a whole village to raise a child, so it takes the whole global village to eradicate poverty.” This illustrates the adaptability of the proverb to not only child-rearing but also to broader social and global issues.

A Universal Message of Cooperation and Care

The wisdom embedded in “it takes a village to raise a child” transcends cultural and geographical boundaries. Whether it’s through the guidance of elders, the mentorship of teachers, or the support of friends and neighbors, this proverb reminds us that raising a child is a shared responsibility. It stresses the importance of community cooperation, empathy, and self-sacrifice for the well-being of future generations.

Today, the proverb remains relevant in discussions about parenting, social structures, and even global cooperation. It encourages parents to seek and accept help, understanding that nurturing a child is too large a task for one or two individuals alone. In many ways, the phrase has become a symbol of how interconnected we are, especially in raising the next generation.

Why Every Family Needs a Village

In modern society, raising a child can be incredibly complex. Many families face financial constraints, isolation from extended family, and a lack of support systems. This is where the village concept comes into play. When you embrace the mindset that it takes a village to raise a child, you’re acknowledging that no parent can or should do it all alone.

Key Reasons to Build Your Village:

Childcare Costs: Average daycare expenses in our area are $2,500 per month, a significant financial burden for most families.
Work-Life Balance: Juggling a career while raising children can be exhausting without extra help.
Emotional Support: Parenting can be isolating. Having a village helps parents feel supported and less alone.

When parents build a community of trusted friends, family, and professionals, they’re not only lightening the load but also allowing their children to benefit from multiple sources of guidance and love. After all, it takes a village to raise a child, and that village can offer invaluable emotional and financial support.

The Essential Building Blocks of Your Village: Key People Who Help Raise Your Child

When we say “it takes a village to raise a child,” it’s important to understand the key people and groups who make up that village. A strong support system is composed of various individuals and communities who contribute to your child’s growth and development, each providing unique care, guidance, and resources.

Primary Agents of Support:

Family: Immediate and extended family members—such as grandparents, aunts, and uncles—play a crucial role in raising children. They often provide childcare, moral support, and a sense of continuity across generations.
Educators and Schools: Teachers are significant figures in a child’s life, helping to shape their social, emotional, and academic development. Educators often step in to support parents by reinforcing values and life skills.
Friends and Neighbors: These community members can act as informal mentors, offering lessons or providing practical assistance, like carpooling or babysitting, that lightens parents’ load.
Healthcare Providers: Pediatricians, mental health counselors, and specialists offer critical care for a child’s physical and emotional well-being. Their expertise ensures that children develop healthily and receive the necessary interventions when needed.
Religious and Spiritual Leaders: Faith communities can be a vital part of the village, providing children and parents with moral guidance, emotional support, and a sense of belonging. Religious leaders often serve as mentors and role models.
Recreational and Social Groups: Sports teams, clubs, and artistic activities allow children to grow outside the classroom. Coaches, mentors, and peers in these settings help children develop life skills such as teamwork, discipline, and creativity.

it takes a village to raise a child — Active Parenting Publishers

Many parents find essential help from unexpected sources, like mom groups, neighbors, or online communities like What to Expect and Peanut. Parents often share stories of how unexpected babysitting arrangements or online mom groups eased the burden of childcare and provided emotional support. These connections can lead to lasting relationships that positively influence a child’s upbringing.

Understanding that these different people and institutions are all part of your child’s village allows you to build a more robust support system, tapping into the expertise and care of multiple sources.

Start Early: Build Your Village Before You Have Kids

One of the most powerful steps you can take as a parent is to build your village before having children. By being proactive, you’ll set yourself up for success when the time comes. If you already have kids, it’s never too late to start building your community—it will still make a meaningful difference.

As funny as it sounds, many parents have felt this confusion at the start of their journey—wondering if the village will simply materialize or if they need to call someone. This TikTok perfectly captures that sentiment:

@shesjustmac Not-so-patiently waiting over here 👀 lol #momsoftiktok #momlife #momhumor #momcomedy #sahm #sahmlife #ittakesavillage #fyp ♬ original sound – Annalee

While the video gives us a good laugh, it’s a reminder that building your village is an intentional process, not something that happens on its own. Your village won’t “just show up”—but with the right steps, you can surround yourself with people who will support you and your family every step of the way.

Key Steps to Building Your Village Early:

Choose Where to Live Wisely
Location is critical. If you’re planning on having children, think about living near family or close friends who can help with childcare. Communities with strong parental networks or active local organizations are also great options.
Identify Key Village Members
Consider the following as part of your village:
- Family: Grandparents, siblings, or extended family members.
- Trusted Friends: Parents in your neighborhood or social circle who can offer support.
- Neighbors: Cultivate relationships with nearby families for play dates and babysitting swaps.
Start Planning for Childcare
Researching daycare options early gives you more time to compare prices and philosophies. Compile questions to ask daycare for infant care, ensuring you find an option that aligns with your values and budget. Ask about safety, schedules, and how infants are cared for. Doing this upfront can save you headaches down the line.

The Financial Benefits of Embracing the Village Concept

Childcare is one of the biggest expenses for growing families. The phrase it takes a village to raise a child doesn’t just apply to emotional support—it can also be a financial lifesaver.

Creative Ways to Save on Childcare with Your Village:

Family Support
Instead of paying $2,500 for daycare, consider leveraging family members though don’t expect this to come without a cost. Grandparents, aunts, and uncles may be happy to help for a smaller fee or in exchange for other support. Paying them can be mutually beneficial—you save money, and they earn some extra income.
Childcare Swaps
Consider trading childcare responsibilities with friends or neighbors. This system allows you to alternate care days with others, drastically reducing the need for paid childcare.
Co-ops and Nanny Shares
A daycare co-op, where parents rotate childcare duties, or a nanny share, where two families split the cost of one caregiver, can save significant amounts of money while providing high-quality care.

When you recognize that it takes a village to raise a child, you open the door to cost-effective childcare solutions that can help reduce financial strain and allow you to focus on other wealth-building goals.

Taking on the Village Mindset: Relinquishing Some Control

Adopting the “it takes a village to raise a child” mindset requires accepting that you won’t have complete control over every aspect of your child’s upbringing. While this can be a difficult shift for many parents, especially in today’s world of parental perfectionism, it can be incredibly freeing.

Worry Less, Set Basic Expectations

There’s a lot of social pressure to create the “perfect” environment for your child, but this is both unrealistic and unhealthy. Our mantra is simple: Worry less. When we relinquish the need for control and trust our village, we reduce stress and open ourselves up to a broader range of support.

Our Personal Rules for Caregivers:

Practice safe sleep.
Keep our child safe.
Make sure they’re fed.
Talk to them OFTEN —preferably in more than one language.

These four basic expectations are the foundation we’ve set for anyone in our village who watches our child. Beyond that, we shrug off the small stuff and practice worrying less. Whether they feed her a snack we don’t normally give or let her nap a little too long, we don’t sweat it. Embracing it takes a village to raise a child means letting go of perfectionism and trusting that your child will thrive, even if things aren’t done exactly the way you’d do them. If you don’t, you risk alienating yourself and your support system.

How Socialization in the Village Shapes Your Child’s Future

In addition to financial benefits, the village provides invaluable social and emotional support for your child. Children raised in a village benefit from exposure to different perspectives, values, and role models. This enhances their emotional intelligence, adaptability, and social skills.

The Role of Non-Parent Adults in Your Child’s Development:

Teachers
Educators are critical members of your village. Not only do they provide academic support, but they also play a significant role in shaping your child’s social skills and values.
Extended Family
Children who spend time with grandparents, aunts, and uncles learn life lessons that their parents may not be able to teach. These relationships can enhance their sense of belonging and self-esteem.
Community Members
Neighbors, coaches, and other adults in your community can provide mentorship and guidance in ways that parents alone cannot. This variety of role models helps shape well-rounded, resilient children.

Rebuilding the Village in a Digital World

In today’s society, building a village can feel challenging due to geographical distance and the isolating nature of modern life. However, the digital world offers new opportunities for connection, allowing families to expand their village beyond their immediate surroundings.

Practical Ways to Build Your Village in a Digital Age:

Join Online Communities
Use platforms like What to Expect or Peanut to connect with other families. These groups can be a great resource for advice, organizing playdates, or even finding childcare swaps.
Use Technology to Stay Connected with Family
If your family lives far away, use video calls and social media to keep them involved in your child’s life. This virtual support can still create a strong sense of connection.
Participate in Local Parent Groups
Don’t underestimate the power of local community centers or parent groups. Attending these events can help you build relationships with other parents who are in the same stage of life.

Digital Village vs. Real-Life Support: Finding Balance

While the digital world offers fantastic opportunities to connect and build your village, it’s important to recognize that an online village should not be a complete substitute for real-life support. As helpful as virtual connections can be, both you and your family need physical, in-person support surrounding you as well.

Real-life interactions—whether it’s family members babysitting, neighbors helping out in a pinch, or friends providing emotional support—are irreplaceable. Children especially benefit from in-person engagement, learning social cues, empathy, and trust through face-to-face interactions. It’s about finding the right balance: leveraging digital platforms to expand your network while ensuring that your village is firmly rooted in the physical world.

The Village as a Lifeline for Parental Mental Health

Parenting is one of the most rewarding yet demanding jobs, and it’s easy for parents to feel overwhelmed when they are shouldering the load on their own. This is where the concept that “it takes a village to raise a child” becomes not only important for the child’s well-being but also critical for the mental health of parents.

According to the U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on parental mental health, 48% of parents report feeling overwhelmed by daily stressors—far higher than the general population. Parents today are constantly faced with the pressure to “do it all,” and social media amplifies this burden by encouraging comparisons with other parents and causing decision fatigue.

Building a strong village around you can be a lifeline, helping to relieve some of this emotional strain. When parents have a trusted network of family, friends, and community members, they can delegate responsibilities, share frustrations, and receive emotional support. This prevents burnout and allows parents to recharge, ultimately making them better equipped to care for their children.

Ways the Village Supports Parental Mental Health:

Emotional Relief: When parents have people they can confide in, they’re less likely to feel isolated. Simply having someone to talk to—whether it’s family, a neighbor, or a fellow parent—can make a huge difference.
Sharing Responsibilities: A village allows parents to share the load. Whether it’s asking a grandparent to watch the kids for an afternoon or organizing a playdate with a friend, having extra hands on deck reduces the feeling of being constantly overwhelmed.
Reducing Decision Fatigue: One of the mental burdens parents face is decision fatigue. A village provides a wealth of advice and shared experiences, helping to reduce the stress of constantly having to make choices on your own.

Embracing the village mindset doesn’t just help your child—it helps you too. Recognizing that it takes a village to raise a child allows you to let go of the pressure to do everything perfectly and to ask for help when you need it.

Tangible Steps to Build and Leverage Your Village

Ready to build your village? Here are some tangible steps you can take today:

Start Conversations with Family and Friends
Find ways to organically connect with family and friends about their availability and willingness to help with childcare. This could be occasional babysitting, long-term care, or helping with school pickups.
Join Local Groups and Networks
Whether it’s joining a playgroup, attending a church gathering, or connecting with other parents in your neighborhood, the key is finding people who can support you.
Prepare Your Childcare Questions
For families seeking daycare options, check out our downloadable list of the 50 best questions to ask daycare for infants. This helps ensure that you find an affordable, high-quality option. Our questions are broken into 5 categories:
- Safety and Security
- Curriculum and Development
- Health, Nutrition, and Daily Routines
- Communication
- Staff and Facility Operations
Set Up a Shared Care System
Organize childcare swaps with friends or family to share responsibilities. This can drastically reduce your childcare costs and provide a safety net for when life gets busy.

FAQ: It Takes a Village to Raise a Child Common Questions

What does “it takes a village to raise a child” mean?
It means that raising a child is a communal effort, requiring the help and support of family, friends, and community members.
When should I start building my village?
Ideally, you should begin before having children, but it’s never too late to start cultivating a support network.
How can I save money on childcare?
Leverage family, friends, and nanny shares to reduce the cost of daycare. Building a village can significantly lower your childcare expenses.
How do I find the right daycare?
Make a list of questions to ask daycare for infant care, including safety practices, feeding routines, and flexibility. Check out our downloadable list here: 50 best questions to ask daycare for infants. This will help you find a daycare that aligns with your needs.
What if I don’t live near family?
Use local resources like parenting groups, neighbors, and online communities to build a village around you.
Can asking for help make me look weak?
No. Embracing the village mindset is a strength, not a weakness. It shows that you value your community and are willing to create a supportive environment for your child.
What if my village doesn’t follow my exact parenting style?
Set basic, non-negotiable rules, but be flexible on the small stuff. This allows your child to benefit from different experiences without sacrificing core values.
How does a village help with my child’s development?
Children benefit from interacting with multiple adults, learning valuable life skills, social norms, and emotional intelligence.
How can I help others in my village?
Offer your time, whether that means babysitting, helping with school pick-ups, or cooking meals. Building a village is about mutual support, so be proactive in offering help when others need it.
Is it possible to build a village online?
Yes, many parents build strong support systems through online communities. Social media groups, apps like Peanut, and parenting forums are great ways to connect with other parents in similar situations.

Conclusion: Start Building Your Village Today

Building your village is about more than just finding people to help with childcare—it’s about creating a supportive network that helps you raise happy, healthy children while also giving you the space to focus on your career and financial goals. Embracing the mindset that it takes a village to raise a child not only lightens the emotional load but also provides significant financial benefits.

By following the steps outlined here, you can reduce your childcare costs, rely on trusted individuals for help, and set your family up for long-term success. Remember that worrying less and trusting your village can bring peace of mind and foster positive relationships that benefit everyone.

Start building your village today, and you’ll not only enrich your child’s life but also strengthen your family’s future.

About the Authors: We’re a husband and wife team with over 30 years of experience in finance, investments, and marketing, committed to helping growing families make informed decisions. Think of us as that older sibling who’s been through it before and ready to share our mistakes and successes. Learn more about our journey from insecurity to financial security where we conquered adversity to reach the top 10% of our peers.

Ask Us A Question: If you’re seeking more insights into this article, personal finance, or challenges a growing family might face, consider us your go-to resource. We’d love to hear from you—just Ask Us A Question. We’re here to share our experience and help you make informed decisions for your family’s future.